why is it when someone is physically abused then they are told to run from that person?
why is it when someone is sexually abused then they are told to run from that person and press charges?
but when it comes to emotional abuse then everyone always says..';just live with it.. they are only yelling at you,.. its not like they are hitting you or anything..'; like if emotional abuse doesn't have the same effect as physical or sexual abuse does?
not say that physical abuse or sexual abuse isn't very traumatic because i know it is but it just seems to me that emotional abuse doesn't really get light like the other two..Why do people give different advice for different types of abuse?
I think that emotional abuse is just as dangerous as sexual and physical abuse.
if you are being abused emotionally (which is different from just having an arguement) then chances of emotional abuse developing into physical abuse is very likely.
No one should put up with abuse of any kind, whether its words or fists. Anyone who needs to hurt another to feel better about themselves are bad bad people. Leave them to stew in their negativity and go be happy without them.
Whoever says ';just deal with it, its only yelling...'; is a doorknob. Never listen to a doorknob.Why do people give different advice for different types of abuse?
It goes back to the Victorian response to the advent of modern psychology. If people were to acknoledge it, it is like admitting that they themselves are not perfect - indeed influenced by frued's ideas. Mybe they do like women similar to their mother, maybe they did envy their fathers penis. - Its heavy stuff even today.
Emotional abuse is similar, those people who denounce it are either so zen as to be able to rise above the meanings that may be attached to what people may say to harm them. Or they are somewhere in the spectrum of denial that they two can be hurt by the conitations of peoples language.
If you look at the patterns, emotional abuse is usually at the root of all physical and sexual abuse. It is all tranference of pain. And this is very confronting to most people. Most people in some way treat others like they were, at least at some stage treated themselves....Hmm makes you think about your motives dson't it.
Emotional abuse is definitely a form of abuse that can affect ones life to the core. It's kind of breaking a person's being. Many of these individuals need professional help to overcome their issues of the past. The ones that don't are still trying to figure things out on their own or perhaps take advice from someone they trust. Anyway, whether you seek professional help or not, you don't forget. You are left with scars. You can truly move on, when you know that it's been dealt with and you have overcome these obstacles in your life.
You must let go of for your own sake.
I think you're right. Emotional abuse can be just as bad, even in some situations maybe worse. And it should get more attention, and the victims more help and recognition.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Why do people give you advice they do not follow?
My friend does not want to me to get into drugs yet she still does drugs now. Wtf?Why do people give you advice they do not follow?
She's just looking out for you.
Hopefully it is because she knows that she has made a few bad choices, and she doesn't want you to end up in her situation.
Heed her advice.
Please, from a formal drug addict, and a successfully rehabilitated addict, please, stay away from drugs.Why do people give you advice they do not follow?
yep , you should listen to her. Its not like its easy to quit once you start. Its like a smoker telling you not to smoke.
besides your better off not doing them. If you wanted to marry a rich doctor or decent person that comes from a respectable family, you better think twice because any respectable family will not except a druggie into their family.
Because she know's she screwed up bad and she does not want you to follow dow nthe same path she see's potential in you and does not want you to throw it away.Why don't you help her and get help
It's the very definition of ';Hypocrite';....
Though, maybe in your case your friend is just trying to steer you away from a life of misery (drugs).
Would she be a better friend to you if she gave you drugs? Somehow, I think not.....
She knows she made a mistake and is now trapped, and is trying to save you from going through the same pain she has gone through. It is possible to know what the right choice is, even if you can't act on it.
I don't know why people do that. People are always doing the same to me and not following their own advice. I really hate that.
Hmmm. Lots of people do that. Who knows? Maybe because it's easy to give out advice and not reflect upon your own problems? Just rambling here.
She knows what drugs can do and cares about you so she doesn't want you to get into a bad lifestyle.
Like black people? They say dont be racist and dont generalize but they do the same against whites.
Maybe your friend is hooked, and can't just quit. She doesn't want that to happen to you.
She knows you're better than her.
She's just looking out for you.
Hopefully it is because she knows that she has made a few bad choices, and she doesn't want you to end up in her situation.
Heed her advice.
Please, from a formal drug addict, and a successfully rehabilitated addict, please, stay away from drugs.Why do people give you advice they do not follow?
yep , you should listen to her. Its not like its easy to quit once you start. Its like a smoker telling you not to smoke.
besides your better off not doing them. If you wanted to marry a rich doctor or decent person that comes from a respectable family, you better think twice because any respectable family will not except a druggie into their family.
Because she know's she screwed up bad and she does not want you to follow dow nthe same path she see's potential in you and does not want you to throw it away.Why don't you help her and get help
It's the very definition of ';Hypocrite';....
Though, maybe in your case your friend is just trying to steer you away from a life of misery (drugs).
Would she be a better friend to you if she gave you drugs? Somehow, I think not.....
She knows she made a mistake and is now trapped, and is trying to save you from going through the same pain she has gone through. It is possible to know what the right choice is, even if you can't act on it.
I don't know why people do that. People are always doing the same to me and not following their own advice. I really hate that.
Hmmm. Lots of people do that. Who knows? Maybe because it's easy to give out advice and not reflect upon your own problems? Just rambling here.
She knows what drugs can do and cares about you so she doesn't want you to get into a bad lifestyle.
Like black people? They say dont be racist and dont generalize but they do the same against whites.
Maybe your friend is hooked, and can't just quit. She doesn't want that to happen to you.
She knows you're better than her.
How many people get terrible advice from Yahoo Answers?
Just asking because I had given a reasonable answer, w/ backup, but there were biosed people that down thumbed it. The poor person asking the question may end up developing a biosed point of view.How many people get terrible advice from Yahoo Answers?
All you can do is hope to get enough answers that you can form an oppinion and be openminded to what others think. I can't stand when someone does not read your whole question and then gives you a stupid answer that doesn't even go along with what you asked.How many people get terrible advice from Yahoo Answers?
I've received good and bad.As far as thumbs up and down,you can't put a whole lot in to that,it's just peeps opinion.All a part of what makes yahoo so dam addictive.
there are people that love to give stupid advice and will down play or put down any other kind of advice. don't want to admit they are wrong!
I see a lot of really awful answers here. The sad part is, I think only a small fraction of those are stupid on purpose. Most people just don't really know what they are talking about. It's different when you are asking for people's opinions- that's very subjective. But when it comes to factual information, most people are so wrong it's not even funny.
I'd not rate the advice terrible but my issues are:
1) People must weigh the answers and maybe use them for further research.
2) Some are not clear on what they asking.
3) Flippant questions, well you know the saying, ';Ask a stupid question get a stupid....';
';But when it comes to factual information, most people are so wrong it's not even funny.';
This is quoted from the answer of holocaust denier/racist venin_noir. I rather hope she is including herself in the category of ';so wrong';, but I'm probably being naive. Seriously, check out some of her answers relating to Jews, Blacks, Naziism etc. She is spewing a lot of vile hatred on Yahoo Answers, and should be challenged.
every time i ask a question as to where to find something, i always get ';check e-bay'; as an answer. i wouldn't be asking if it was on ebay.
Very true it is possible for the asker to become biased based on answers being thumbed up or down. The only thing is the asker needs to not look for thumb up or down answers, but what suits their purpose the best. I know what you mean about getting terrible advice though, it seems like sometimes it's rare to get a good answer.
why do u think u got the best answer???it is a matter of difference ,and if u really did ,dont worry he will stil be able to read your answer ,it was just minimised unless your answer was flaged,
All you can do is hope to get enough answers that you can form an oppinion and be openminded to what others think. I can't stand when someone does not read your whole question and then gives you a stupid answer that doesn't even go along with what you asked.How many people get terrible advice from Yahoo Answers?
I've received good and bad.As far as thumbs up and down,you can't put a whole lot in to that,it's just peeps opinion.All a part of what makes yahoo so dam addictive.
there are people that love to give stupid advice and will down play or put down any other kind of advice. don't want to admit they are wrong!
I see a lot of really awful answers here. The sad part is, I think only a small fraction of those are stupid on purpose. Most people just don't really know what they are talking about. It's different when you are asking for people's opinions- that's very subjective. But when it comes to factual information, most people are so wrong it's not even funny.
I'd not rate the advice terrible but my issues are:
1) People must weigh the answers and maybe use them for further research.
2) Some are not clear on what they asking.
3) Flippant questions, well you know the saying, ';Ask a stupid question get a stupid....';
';But when it comes to factual information, most people are so wrong it's not even funny.';
This is quoted from the answer of holocaust denier/racist venin_noir. I rather hope she is including herself in the category of ';so wrong';, but I'm probably being naive. Seriously, check out some of her answers relating to Jews, Blacks, Naziism etc. She is spewing a lot of vile hatred on Yahoo Answers, and should be challenged.
every time i ask a question as to where to find something, i always get ';check e-bay'; as an answer. i wouldn't be asking if it was on ebay.
Very true it is possible for the asker to become biased based on answers being thumbed up or down. The only thing is the asker needs to not look for thumb up or down answers, but what suits their purpose the best. I know what you mean about getting terrible advice though, it seems like sometimes it's rare to get a good answer.
why do u think u got the best answer???it is a matter of difference ,and if u really did ,dont worry he will stil be able to read your answer ,it was just minimised unless your answer was flaged,
Do you think what kind of personality the people given advice should have?
do you always give or get acvice to and from others?Do you think what kind of personality the people given advice should have?
Empathy and unconditional positive regard. The person needs to be able to put themselves in the other person's shoes and try to imagine how they feel with the current situation and they need to accept the person's feelings about a situation whether they agree with it or not. Even if the situation the person is in seems trivial to the one given advice, it obviously is important to the person asking or they would not be asking for advice. The person giving the advice should also be able to take advice and criticism from others. Do you think what kind of personality the people given advice should have?
Empathy and acceptance of other people's current emotional state are imperative prerequisites.cream blush
Empathy and unconditional positive regard. The person needs to be able to put themselves in the other person's shoes and try to imagine how they feel with the current situation and they need to accept the person's feelings about a situation whether they agree with it or not. Even if the situation the person is in seems trivial to the one given advice, it obviously is important to the person asking or they would not be asking for advice. The person giving the advice should also be able to take advice and criticism from others. Do you think what kind of personality the people given advice should have?
Empathy and acceptance of other people's current emotional state are imperative prerequisites.
Why do new mothers get so mad when people give their advice?
I was the same way when I was pregnant and after I had my baby. I would get so mad when people would give me advice about how to do things. I would get so stubborn and get mad. Now I look back and a lot of those suggestions were very good suggestions. After I got over my stubborness, I used those suggestions and they work really well. Why do we act like that though?Why do new mothers get so mad when people give their advice?
Everyone wants to be a great parent and we're all terrified that we won't be. We get defencive when someone tries to give advice because we feel like we're being attacked even though people are just trying to be helpful and pass on their experience.Why do new mothers get so mad when people give their advice?
i guess it is because when we were little we hated it for ex: don't eat that you'll get sick so we would eat it then get sick and wish we would have listened we just thought we had all the answers and hated it when people would tell us what to do i know when i became a mother for the first time i actually listened to the advise of other mothers and chose which one might actually work heck i still do
I think it is because once you get confident enough to even go out into the world to show off you baby, people are quick to tell you what they think you are doing wrong.I have a 6 month old and I hate it when people tell me what I SHOULD DO with a child I carried for 9 months and they just met for 9 minutes! No child is the same, and frankly it is no one elses business.
lol,,, i done the same thing and then once anyone had a baby drove them mad with advice....
in my case everyone was giving me advice all the time, most of it contradicting with another persons, everyone thinks they are a expert and everyone thinks they know everything, it does get a bit of a pain when everyones on your case telling you what is right, when all you want people to do is leave you alone and let you get on with it, perhaps if people waited to someone asked for advice rather than pushing it then we wouldn't get the hump about it
having said all that i still do it to other people!!!
Even though they are ';suggestions'; we feel like we are being told what to do. That and trying to adjust to a new way of life in our own way, on our own terms and time. You are right though, much of the advice was useful, just given at the wrong time.
it probably has something to do with how new mothers already question themselves and feel that they arent doing things right/good enough. and when someone gives advice we look at it as is it that ovbious im not doing it right?!?
Because you want to come up with the solutions for yourself.
Some things my mother and mother-in-law suggested wasn't right......it was right 30 years OK....but some of those things had changed.
When my daughter has her first child....I'll give advice when and if I'm asked.
we all ahve a fantasy of how we will do thing so much better than anyone else. thank god this phase doesnt last long. Then I think it gets replaced with I've had so many kids now that I totally know what I'm doing and I think that's when we grow into really bonding and knowing our child/ren that we become mom.
Because while others may know from experience, as a new mom, we're not perfect but we'd certainly like to try things out and learn on our own. And I also remember getting VERY upset with a family member of mine because when my newborn was crying she took him and insisted she knew what was wrong with him. She took off his clothes, his diaper, tried burping him and I just took him away from her and said the reason he was freaking out was because there was a housefull of people he'd never seen before. He was stressed out from being held and around loud people.
Advice is one thing, taking over is another. And there's a very fine line in between.
I think its because we all want to be good mothers and don't like the idea of people telling us what to do like we're stupid. Also we get so much of it that we're sick of hearing about it and parenting is a lot different now than when our grandparents were raising children.
Because you are already feeling overwhelmed and insecure enough and you don't need other people pointing it out to you by giving unsolicited advice.
Honestly, the only advice I ever took was my pediatrician's or the advice I actively sought. And it hasn't seemed to hurt my son yet. He's a great kid at 16.
I think personally new mum's get mad because they want to learn from their own mistakes rather than be told by someone else about the mistakes of other people. I hated getting told what to do with my baby my oldest is 13(nearly)and my youngest is 1 and people still tried to tell me wot do to with my daughter
'advice' is too great a word.(I do really fear to use it when I do not know who the beneficiary is and how he /she will use /interpret it! But if you feel happy then good -no worry ; must be one amongst the happiest being!
I think it's because everyone has different views on how to raise children. For example, some of my relatives do things that I would NEVER do, yet were trying to push their beliefs on my husband and me. I think a new mother is also nervous and unsure about how she's doing enough without people telling her how to do things; it just makes her more self - conscious. The rule of thumb is that unless the parent is doing something that could cause serious bodily harm/death to the child, well - meaning people should bite their tongues and only give advice when asked for it. Trust me, there have been times when I've wanted to ';share'; some advice, but I keep quiet because I know it might be taken poorly.
Everyone wants to be a great parent and we're all terrified that we won't be. We get defencive when someone tries to give advice because we feel like we're being attacked even though people are just trying to be helpful and pass on their experience.Why do new mothers get so mad when people give their advice?
i guess it is because when we were little we hated it for ex: don't eat that you'll get sick so we would eat it then get sick and wish we would have listened we just thought we had all the answers and hated it when people would tell us what to do i know when i became a mother for the first time i actually listened to the advise of other mothers and chose which one might actually work heck i still do
I think it is because once you get confident enough to even go out into the world to show off you baby, people are quick to tell you what they think you are doing wrong.I have a 6 month old and I hate it when people tell me what I SHOULD DO with a child I carried for 9 months and they just met for 9 minutes! No child is the same, and frankly it is no one elses business.
lol,,, i done the same thing and then once anyone had a baby drove them mad with advice....
in my case everyone was giving me advice all the time, most of it contradicting with another persons, everyone thinks they are a expert and everyone thinks they know everything, it does get a bit of a pain when everyones on your case telling you what is right, when all you want people to do is leave you alone and let you get on with it, perhaps if people waited to someone asked for advice rather than pushing it then we wouldn't get the hump about it
having said all that i still do it to other people!!!
Even though they are ';suggestions'; we feel like we are being told what to do. That and trying to adjust to a new way of life in our own way, on our own terms and time. You are right though, much of the advice was useful, just given at the wrong time.
it probably has something to do with how new mothers already question themselves and feel that they arent doing things right/good enough. and when someone gives advice we look at it as is it that ovbious im not doing it right?!?
Because you want to come up with the solutions for yourself.
Some things my mother and mother-in-law suggested wasn't right......it was right 30 years OK....but some of those things had changed.
When my daughter has her first child....I'll give advice when and if I'm asked.
we all ahve a fantasy of how we will do thing so much better than anyone else. thank god this phase doesnt last long. Then I think it gets replaced with I've had so many kids now that I totally know what I'm doing and I think that's when we grow into really bonding and knowing our child/ren that we become mom.
Because while others may know from experience, as a new mom, we're not perfect but we'd certainly like to try things out and learn on our own. And I also remember getting VERY upset with a family member of mine because when my newborn was crying she took him and insisted she knew what was wrong with him. She took off his clothes, his diaper, tried burping him and I just took him away from her and said the reason he was freaking out was because there was a housefull of people he'd never seen before. He was stressed out from being held and around loud people.
Advice is one thing, taking over is another. And there's a very fine line in between.
I think its because we all want to be good mothers and don't like the idea of people telling us what to do like we're stupid. Also we get so much of it that we're sick of hearing about it and parenting is a lot different now than when our grandparents were raising children.
Because you are already feeling overwhelmed and insecure enough and you don't need other people pointing it out to you by giving unsolicited advice.
Honestly, the only advice I ever took was my pediatrician's or the advice I actively sought. And it hasn't seemed to hurt my son yet. He's a great kid at 16.
I think personally new mum's get mad because they want to learn from their own mistakes rather than be told by someone else about the mistakes of other people. I hated getting told what to do with my baby my oldest is 13(nearly)and my youngest is 1 and people still tried to tell me wot do to with my daughter
'advice' is too great a word.(I do really fear to use it when I do not know who the beneficiary is and how he /she will use /interpret it! But if you feel happy then good -no worry ; must be one amongst the happiest being!
I think it's because everyone has different views on how to raise children. For example, some of my relatives do things that I would NEVER do, yet were trying to push their beliefs on my husband and me. I think a new mother is also nervous and unsure about how she's doing enough without people telling her how to do things; it just makes her more self - conscious. The rule of thumb is that unless the parent is doing something that could cause serious bodily harm/death to the child, well - meaning people should bite their tongues and only give advice when asked for it. Trust me, there have been times when I've wanted to ';share'; some advice, but I keep quiet because I know it might be taken poorly.
Any real estate agents have advice for people aspiring to get there license?
Everyone told me to have 3 months of reserves in the bank. That was not such great advice. I made $1,900 my entire first year. I saw agents selling 1 house every week. I wondered how i would ever get there.
I would give you 2 advices:
Get listings. Most new agents never get a listing. They picture themselves driving buyers around and making offers. That's nice but listings keep you going thru all markets. Read the book by Gael Himmah about Listing houses (Listing Magic or Listing Master is the title-i can't remember).
If it is not working, don't fool yourself. Give up. Out of the 100 in my realty school, i am the last one left. The others hung on too long and were out of money./Any real estate agents have advice for people aspiring to get there license?
You have to decide if you want to spend several months going to a local junior college learning how to obtain your license or going to a seminar or two that teach you how to pass the test to get your license.
That is a choice you have to make. Personally the one that prepares you to pass the exam is better. That is the easy part getting enough information and learning to pass the real estate exam.
Once you have successfully passed the real estate exam, the newly licensed real estate agent now think they will automatically walk into a real estate office and people that want to sell houses and those that want to buy houses will simply call. ';NOT SO';
While you are getting your real estate license I suggest you take a couple of classes in marketing yourself, going to a few self-esteem classes, changing your wardrobe to a professional wardrobe.
Of the ones I have mentioned above the most important is marketing yourself.
Those that are unsuccessful will tell you that nothing work and it is a hit and miss game. That is not so.
Successful real estate agents have a plan and a marketing technique that work for them and make them successful.
You want to watch the cold calling. There is a ';Do Not Calling List'; one mistake on this and it could cost you as well as your firm $11,000 each so make sure your office have a ';Do Not Call Policy';.
I find that marketing yourself in one area that you become very familiar with will reap the best benefits for you.
Don't forget to form a professional team of industry professionals that will assist you in doing your job.
The other thing is become professional in one phase of real estate. Selling high end homes, Selling to the moderate and low end market.
What ever you do you can not be a Notary, loan officer, insurance salesman, and work a title company part time.
So if you plan to sell houses specialize in selling houses. If you are gonna specialize in selling commercial properties specialize in selling commercial properties.
Your professional team will be the one to farm other things out to that you don't specialize in. They will refer things to you that you don't specialize in.
I hope this has been of some use to you, good luck.
'FIGHT ON';Any real estate agents have advice for people aspiring to get there license?
A few things --
Network. Always network. Every single person you meet or talk to could be a potential client.
Being a realtor is not a license to think you are above everyone in the food chain. You may bring business to your favorite Escrow Officer but you could pick up business from other escrow personnel, insurance agents, loan officers, etc.
Always leave a lasting impression of professionalism. Don't think that your phone will ring off the wall - or that flyers will bring you business.
Come up a marketing plan to sell yourself.
Good Luck.
Check your spelling.
I would give you 2 advices:
Get listings. Most new agents never get a listing. They picture themselves driving buyers around and making offers. That's nice but listings keep you going thru all markets. Read the book by Gael Himmah about Listing houses (Listing Magic or Listing Master is the title-i can't remember).
If it is not working, don't fool yourself. Give up. Out of the 100 in my realty school, i am the last one left. The others hung on too long and were out of money./Any real estate agents have advice for people aspiring to get there license?
You have to decide if you want to spend several months going to a local junior college learning how to obtain your license or going to a seminar or two that teach you how to pass the test to get your license.
That is a choice you have to make. Personally the one that prepares you to pass the exam is better. That is the easy part getting enough information and learning to pass the real estate exam.
Once you have successfully passed the real estate exam, the newly licensed real estate agent now think they will automatically walk into a real estate office and people that want to sell houses and those that want to buy houses will simply call. ';NOT SO';
While you are getting your real estate license I suggest you take a couple of classes in marketing yourself, going to a few self-esteem classes, changing your wardrobe to a professional wardrobe.
Of the ones I have mentioned above the most important is marketing yourself.
Those that are unsuccessful will tell you that nothing work and it is a hit and miss game. That is not so.
Successful real estate agents have a plan and a marketing technique that work for them and make them successful.
You want to watch the cold calling. There is a ';Do Not Calling List'; one mistake on this and it could cost you as well as your firm $11,000 each so make sure your office have a ';Do Not Call Policy';.
I find that marketing yourself in one area that you become very familiar with will reap the best benefits for you.
Don't forget to form a professional team of industry professionals that will assist you in doing your job.
The other thing is become professional in one phase of real estate. Selling high end homes, Selling to the moderate and low end market.
What ever you do you can not be a Notary, loan officer, insurance salesman, and work a title company part time.
So if you plan to sell houses specialize in selling houses. If you are gonna specialize in selling commercial properties specialize in selling commercial properties.
Your professional team will be the one to farm other things out to that you don't specialize in. They will refer things to you that you don't specialize in.
I hope this has been of some use to you, good luck.
'FIGHT ON';Any real estate agents have advice for people aspiring to get there license?
A few things --
Network. Always network. Every single person you meet or talk to could be a potential client.
Being a realtor is not a license to think you are above everyone in the food chain. You may bring business to your favorite Escrow Officer but you could pick up business from other escrow personnel, insurance agents, loan officers, etc.
Always leave a lasting impression of professionalism. Don't think that your phone will ring off the wall - or that flyers will bring you business.
Come up a marketing plan to sell yourself.
Good Luck.
Check your spelling.
Needing any advice possible from people who are or have breast fed?
i just had a little girl on the 30th and the past 2 nights she has waken up and wants to eat for like 2 hours straight when through out the day she only eats for 30 minutes at a time, by the way i breast feed. what can i do to help her sleep more through the night or at least eat less when she wakes up at night?Needing any advice possible from people who are or have breast fed?
Breast milk is not as filing as formula so until your baby starts on cereal she probably will eat allot. She has probably got her days and nights mixed up and there's not much you can do about that until she gets a little older. I have breast fed 3 kids and the best advice I can give is stick it out . The first 3 weeks are the hardest but after you get used to it you will be happy you stuck it out it gets much easier.Needing any advice possible from people who are or have breast fed?
That is just her feeding schedule...a baby's feeding schedule is like everyones fingerprints, they are all unique and all differ. people will tell you to put baby cereal in her bottle....DON'T!!! bad idea you can make your baby sick or choke. You can try breast feeding and bottle feeding during the night...
She is not old enough yet to have a routine. Right now, you need to feed her on demand so that your milk supply gets established. Her routine or schedule will work itself out by about 4-6 weeks of age. Stick with it. It is SO worth it! Good job and get lots of support.
Read this book! And watch the DVD!!
'The Happiest Baby on the Block'.
She is nursing for comfort at night when she nurses for 2 hours. Using the techniques in the book I mentioned will help her stay asleep. And make sure you're feeding her enough during the day. She's probably going to need to be fed at least every hour and a half. Breastmilk is more easily digested than formula so she may eat more often than formula fed babies and may wake up more at night. Formula forms large curds in the stomach as it's being digested that gives the baby a feeling of fullness for longer than breastfed babies. Feed her close to when she goes to bed also but don't nurse her to sleep!!!! If she falls asleep nursing, wake her up. You should be putting her to bed awake, otherwise she will have a hard time learning how to soothe herself to fall asleep.
A bedtime routine is infinitely helpful. You start the routine at the same time every night. We did bathtime, feeding and storytime.
She's not nursing those 2 hours at night. She's using your breast as a pacifier, which is what I would suggest you switch her to after the first 30 mins and let her learn to self-calm with that (which means letting her cry for a while until she learns it's ok and mom doesn't have to be right there for 2 hours straight). If you don't, you're going to end up with breasts that are too sore to nurse at all and then you and baby will be in a pickle.
This used to happen to me too. She is conforting herself with you....and my baby girl used to be like that....of course she will not sleep for long period of time now because she feeds I guess every 2 hours .... this is mormal at this stage but this will pass, she's just so tiny she probably needs to feel you close and cuddle, she's just knwing the world and needs you now. Have patience and good luck
When her rythmic sucking slows down and changes to sporadic sucking, she is full she is just enjoying you as she would a dummy. I agree with a previous answer, buy a pacifier.
Does she cry alot if you stop feeding her after a half an hour?
First of all CONGRATS!!! And way to go on the decision to breastfeed!
#1 When you lay your little one down give her a pacifier. It helps to soothe AND....helps to prevent SIDS.
#2 Try to feed her more during the day...even when she doesn't seem hungry.
#3 Keep her up more during the day. Though, being this young...it may not work.
#4 Play soft music or have a humidifier going at night (it can help them sleep longer)
#5 When she has eaten for a little bit at night slip her the pacifier...she may not even notice.
#6 If you are careful you could put her in bed with you and BF her on your side laying down(that way you could sleep through it).
Just remember that your sweet girl needs to eat at least every 3-4 hours. So you will need to wake her up at night to eat anway.
Oh, she is still so little and growing like crazy. Dont expect her to sleep much more than she is for some time..Try to figure out how you can nurse her, and maybe still get some sleep.. Maybe if you have a recliner that you can nurse her in, and still sleep? She needs to eat this much..Sorry! They just do.. You are doing the absolute best for her! Congrats! Believe it or not, you will get used to getting up with her and nursing her.. Make sure you are taking naps in the day time to catch up on what sleep you have missed... Good job Mama!!!
I breastfed my first baby and am currently breastfeeding my second.
You have to remember that her tummy is very small. She can only hold so much milk inside it. That's why it seems like she's constantly hungry, she's a growing baby! It's ok to feed her whenever she wants it, her body knows what it's doing.
She should be eating between 8 and 12 times in a 24 hour period. This will not last forever. As she grows her tummy will hold more and she will be able to go longer in between feedings.
She should eat about 20 minutes on one side. I found it helpful to stop feeding my baby about 10 minutes in and burp him, and then get him to try to eat more on the same side. Sometimes babies nurse that long because the latch isn't right, if you feel like it, call a lactation consultant and they can guide you through latching her on correctly. You can find an LC by calling your hospital and they can connect you.
All babies are different. My first baby would take up to 45 minutes to nurse. I would have to tickle his feet and rub his back to keep him awake to nurse. My second is usually all done in 15-20. As your baby grows, she'll be more efficient and not take as long.
ALL babies' nights and days are a little mixed up at first, here is how you help fix it:
*Feed her every two to three hours during the day, wake her up if you have to. Interact with her during the day, coo and play with her.
*At night, let her go as long as she wants between feedings. Keep lights low and noise to a minimum. You want her to figure out that being awake at night isn't as much fun. It will take a few weeks, that's normal.
PLEASE, her body is too small to sleep through the night yet. She simply can't hold enough milk to be able to do it. She's waking up because she's starving. You must feed her.
It's impossible to spoil a baby younger than 2 months. They don't learn any habits until after 2 months. Do whatever you need to do to get through the days and nights. This time doesn't last forever, just weeks, I promise.
I'd recommend making someone you know run to the book store or library for The Nursing Mother's Companion Guide. It's got a lot of good, detailed information. I'm linking a few sites that also have excellent information. Read as much as you can, breastfeeding is natural, but sometimes you have to educate yourself on how best to procede.
Good luck! And remember, listen to your heart, you're the mom and you know best.
That's weird a baby this young usually don't stay awake through a whole feeding. If the baby is falling a sleep then let her go to sleep she will wake up when she's hungry again. If you have more questions or you can email me with more details. I would be more then happy to help you.
Encourage her to eat more often during the day. Offer every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, and let her eat more frequently if she is hungry. Encourage her to nurse frequently in the evening just before she goes to sleep. Most infants have a period like your daughter's at some point during the day where they want too nurse for hours straight. Work on moving that time earlier.
Let her sleep when she wants to during the day, but make the times when she is awake bright and full of stimulation - talk to her, set some brightly colored toys within her reach, etc. During the night when she wakes up to nurse, keep light and stimulation to a minimum. Make nightime boring for her.
For now (it will take her a few weeks to change her habits) learn to nurse lying down and bring her to your bed for her 2 hour nursing marathon so that you can at least rest while she is eating.
My son did this same thing. After a few weeks (I think by 1 month) he had moved his long nursing session to just before bedtime. He also did (and still does) sleep in our bed. If you go that route in a few weeks you will be able to wake up, latch him on and go right back to sleep and get 8+ hours of mostly uninterrupted sleep. Just be sure to keep blankets and pillows away from him, as they are a suffocation hazard for small babies. Good luck!! Good for you for breastfeeding and giving your baby the very best start in life. Whatever you try to do, realize that this is a short phase - this too shall pass!
Breast milk is not as filing as formula so until your baby starts on cereal she probably will eat allot. She has probably got her days and nights mixed up and there's not much you can do about that until she gets a little older. I have breast fed 3 kids and the best advice I can give is stick it out . The first 3 weeks are the hardest but after you get used to it you will be happy you stuck it out it gets much easier.Needing any advice possible from people who are or have breast fed?
That is just her feeding schedule...a baby's feeding schedule is like everyones fingerprints, they are all unique and all differ. people will tell you to put baby cereal in her bottle....DON'T!!! bad idea you can make your baby sick or choke. You can try breast feeding and bottle feeding during the night...
She is not old enough yet to have a routine. Right now, you need to feed her on demand so that your milk supply gets established. Her routine or schedule will work itself out by about 4-6 weeks of age. Stick with it. It is SO worth it! Good job and get lots of support.
Read this book! And watch the DVD!!
'The Happiest Baby on the Block'.
She is nursing for comfort at night when she nurses for 2 hours. Using the techniques in the book I mentioned will help her stay asleep. And make sure you're feeding her enough during the day. She's probably going to need to be fed at least every hour and a half. Breastmilk is more easily digested than formula so she may eat more often than formula fed babies and may wake up more at night. Formula forms large curds in the stomach as it's being digested that gives the baby a feeling of fullness for longer than breastfed babies. Feed her close to when she goes to bed also but don't nurse her to sleep!!!! If she falls asleep nursing, wake her up. You should be putting her to bed awake, otherwise she will have a hard time learning how to soothe herself to fall asleep.
A bedtime routine is infinitely helpful. You start the routine at the same time every night. We did bathtime, feeding and storytime.
She's not nursing those 2 hours at night. She's using your breast as a pacifier, which is what I would suggest you switch her to after the first 30 mins and let her learn to self-calm with that (which means letting her cry for a while until she learns it's ok and mom doesn't have to be right there for 2 hours straight). If you don't, you're going to end up with breasts that are too sore to nurse at all and then you and baby will be in a pickle.
This used to happen to me too. She is conforting herself with you....and my baby girl used to be like that....of course she will not sleep for long period of time now because she feeds I guess every 2 hours .... this is mormal at this stage but this will pass, she's just so tiny she probably needs to feel you close and cuddle, she's just knwing the world and needs you now. Have patience and good luck
When her rythmic sucking slows down and changes to sporadic sucking, she is full she is just enjoying you as she would a dummy. I agree with a previous answer, buy a pacifier.
Does she cry alot if you stop feeding her after a half an hour?
First of all CONGRATS!!! And way to go on the decision to breastfeed!
#1 When you lay your little one down give her a pacifier. It helps to soothe AND....helps to prevent SIDS.
#2 Try to feed her more during the day...even when she doesn't seem hungry.
#3 Keep her up more during the day. Though, being this young...it may not work.
#4 Play soft music or have a humidifier going at night (it can help them sleep longer)
#5 When she has eaten for a little bit at night slip her the pacifier...she may not even notice.
#6 If you are careful you could put her in bed with you and BF her on your side laying down(that way you could sleep through it).
Just remember that your sweet girl needs to eat at least every 3-4 hours. So you will need to wake her up at night to eat anway.
Oh, she is still so little and growing like crazy. Dont expect her to sleep much more than she is for some time..Try to figure out how you can nurse her, and maybe still get some sleep.. Maybe if you have a recliner that you can nurse her in, and still sleep? She needs to eat this much..Sorry! They just do.. You are doing the absolute best for her! Congrats! Believe it or not, you will get used to getting up with her and nursing her.. Make sure you are taking naps in the day time to catch up on what sleep you have missed... Good job Mama!!!
I breastfed my first baby and am currently breastfeeding my second.
You have to remember that her tummy is very small. She can only hold so much milk inside it. That's why it seems like she's constantly hungry, she's a growing baby! It's ok to feed her whenever she wants it, her body knows what it's doing.
She should be eating between 8 and 12 times in a 24 hour period. This will not last forever. As she grows her tummy will hold more and she will be able to go longer in between feedings.
She should eat about 20 minutes on one side. I found it helpful to stop feeding my baby about 10 minutes in and burp him, and then get him to try to eat more on the same side. Sometimes babies nurse that long because the latch isn't right, if you feel like it, call a lactation consultant and they can guide you through latching her on correctly. You can find an LC by calling your hospital and they can connect you.
All babies are different. My first baby would take up to 45 minutes to nurse. I would have to tickle his feet and rub his back to keep him awake to nurse. My second is usually all done in 15-20. As your baby grows, she'll be more efficient and not take as long.
ALL babies' nights and days are a little mixed up at first, here is how you help fix it:
*Feed her every two to three hours during the day, wake her up if you have to. Interact with her during the day, coo and play with her.
*At night, let her go as long as she wants between feedings. Keep lights low and noise to a minimum. You want her to figure out that being awake at night isn't as much fun. It will take a few weeks, that's normal.
PLEASE, her body is too small to sleep through the night yet. She simply can't hold enough milk to be able to do it. She's waking up because she's starving. You must feed her.
It's impossible to spoil a baby younger than 2 months. They don't learn any habits until after 2 months. Do whatever you need to do to get through the days and nights. This time doesn't last forever, just weeks, I promise.
I'd recommend making someone you know run to the book store or library for The Nursing Mother's Companion Guide. It's got a lot of good, detailed information. I'm linking a few sites that also have excellent information. Read as much as you can, breastfeeding is natural, but sometimes you have to educate yourself on how best to procede.
Good luck! And remember, listen to your heart, you're the mom and you know best.
That's weird a baby this young usually don't stay awake through a whole feeding. If the baby is falling a sleep then let her go to sleep she will wake up when she's hungry again. If you have more questions or you can email me with more details. I would be more then happy to help you.
Encourage her to eat more often during the day. Offer every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, and let her eat more frequently if she is hungry. Encourage her to nurse frequently in the evening just before she goes to sleep. Most infants have a period like your daughter's at some point during the day where they want too nurse for hours straight. Work on moving that time earlier.
Let her sleep when she wants to during the day, but make the times when she is awake bright and full of stimulation - talk to her, set some brightly colored toys within her reach, etc. During the night when she wakes up to nurse, keep light and stimulation to a minimum. Make nightime boring for her.
For now (it will take her a few weeks to change her habits) learn to nurse lying down and bring her to your bed for her 2 hour nursing marathon so that you can at least rest while she is eating.
My son did this same thing. After a few weeks (I think by 1 month) he had moved his long nursing session to just before bedtime. He also did (and still does) sleep in our bed. If you go that route in a few weeks you will be able to wake up, latch him on and go right back to sleep and get 8+ hours of mostly uninterrupted sleep. Just be sure to keep blankets and pillows away from him, as they are a suffocation hazard for small babies. Good luck!! Good for you for breastfeeding and giving your baby the very best start in life. Whatever you try to do, realize that this is a short phase - this too shall pass!
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